
About me, the quintessential infertile turtle
First let me tell you about me. My name is Renee, and I am a 29 year old teacher (out of work currently), who is infertile. Infertile like, my husband and I have been trying for 4 years and not one child yet. We have been to several doctors and have had several tests run. I have been through surgery, charting, so many blood draws that I look like a heroin addict, IUI, shots, HSG (twice), and heartache of course. The diagnosis: unexplained infertility. How frustrating! Because getting pregnant naturally is not likely to ever happen, my husband and I have decided to save up for IVF. The tentative date for this IVF is January 2012.
So why am I writing a blog about it you might ask? I decided in the meantime, I could be more positive. Infertility literally takes a woman to her lowest point. It will test your faith, beliefs, and womanhood. I have prayed for one thing for four years! Anyways, my sulking, crying and why me attitude hasn't gotten me anywhere, so I decided to do something that could make me happy until the day we can actually afford IVF. This blog serves to distract me and purge me of all the negative thoughts I've been feeling for four years.
These past four years have been an emotional roller coaster. Each month for an infertile woman consists of two weeks of hope, a week of anticipation and a week of complete and utter despair. So to lift my spirits until that glorious day when a doctor can insert a couple of embryos into my uterus, I am going to be thankful. That's right, you heard me. I am not going to focus on my infertility. Instead I am going to focus on the things I have to be thankful for. Each day I will pick another thing that I am thankful for and relate it to my journey of infertility in a positive light. It can be anything: a person, place, feeling, belief or an actual object that I love. I truly believe in the power of perspective, acceptance and attitude.
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile." ~Author Unknown
Friday, September 16, 2011
#11 LSU
LSU is amazing and the memories I created there will stay with me forever. The campus itself, is beautiful. It has majestic, live oak trees that were planted in 1930 that are worth fifty million dollars. They tower over the entire campus and their branches provide shade when you want to sit peacefully and study or people watch. The architecture has an Italian Renaissance theme that is marked by its tan stucco buildings with red tiled roofs and colonnades. It is truly a sight to see.
Though beautiful in appearance, LSU provides so much more. Not only did I gain an education that I am proud of and which has given me the opportunity to do what I really love (teaching), but I had some great times and made some life long friends. I still talk to all the friends I had at LSU. They all were at my wedding and in the coming year, I will be attending one of their weddings and will be a bridesmaid in another. The memories we created were some of the best in my lifetime.
One of my favorite memories that comes to mind when thinking of LSU is tailgating. Maybe I am biased, but no one does it like LSU. It all starts on Friday night, the night before game day. Out of your group of friends, you better have someone really driven that is willing to put up a tent and camp out Friday night so that all of his dead beat friends can take advantage of his dedication on game day. I was one of those dead beat friends and my dedicated and die hard LSU friend was Chris. On Saturday morning, you are to wake up early (like crack of dawn early) and join in on the tailgate. Me and all my girlfriends were particularly bad at this. Most LSU fans start drinking at 7 a.m. We on the other hand, were always so hung over from the night before that we couldn't roll out until about 9 or 10 a.m. We started the day by getting what we called a "breakfast daiquiri" at one of the drive thru daiquiri shops in Baton Rouge (with a triple shot to boot). This literally served as our breakfast. We headed out to the tailgate with our fold up chairs and hung out all day long, drinking; eating delicious, cajun food; laughing; playing games and walking around campus to see other friends. Then when it was close to game time, we would head to the stadium to watch the Tigers beat the hell outta whoever they were playing.
I will never forget one time walking to the stadium, I was following close behind my friend, Chris. He had a Natural Light in one hand and a Beam and coke in the other (well, mostly Beam). He had been drinking these two drinks, double fisting and alternating between hands, ALL day. I have to add that when I say "ALL day," I am speaking of the hours from 7 a.m. to around 6 p.m. (That is how you do it at LSU.) Well, the Beam and coke hand must have been very heavy for him because he was holding that one as if it weighed one thousand pounds and he was dripping the precious liquid onto the sidewalk with every step. It created a line from our tailgate all the way to the stadium. Maybe he knew what he was doing. I mean if he got lost, in Hansel and Gretel form, he would find his way back. The entire way, all our friends walked behind him laughing. Other fans saw the hilarity and joined in. Every so often he would turn around and slur, "What's so funny back there?" This of course made us laugh even harder.
At one point during our trek to the stadium, he stopped in on one group's massive tailgate party. There was a huge group of fans standing around and he stood in the middle of them. They all went quiet, wondering what this drunk idiot was doing. We all were standing back, watching from afar, a little worried that Chris would get his face pounded in. Chris waited for everyone to go silent and made sure all eyes were on him. He suddenly raised his Beam and coke hand and yelled, "Tonight we play Georgia!" He lowered his hand and said nothing. There was silence. Then one member of the tailgate looked at him and said, "Yeaaaah...?," in an agreeing but questioning tone. Then Chris raised the Beam and coke hand again and yelled, "Tonight, we beat Georgia!" All the tailgaters must have really enjoyed his Varsity Blues impression (either that or they were just really drunk themselves) because they all starting cheering and high-fiving him. He had managed to further amp up an already pretty lively group. Ever since, I have never laughed that hard again in my life. I still laugh when I tell that story to this day and I am smiling as I type it on this very blog. By the way, in his inebriated state, Chris was quite the soothsayer. LSU beat Georgia 17-10. Geaux Tigers!
You're probably sitting and reading, wondering why I chose to tell this particular story. Truthfully, I'm not sure, because this is really only one of hundreds of good memories I have from LSU. But whether it be this memory or another, they all serve the same purpose; to remind me of few of things:
1. LSU was a once in a lifetime experience and I am so thankful that it is a part of who I am today.
2. I made some long lasting friends at LSU that I miss dearly.
3. The memories I created at LSU will stay in my heart forever.
4. Though significant, I will not allow the pains of infertility to take up any more room in my heart. That space should be opened up for memories that make me laugh and that put a smile on my face.
"God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December." ~J.M. Barrie
Good friends from LSU. Chris is in the middle. Notice the two drinks in his hand.
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