My Paw paw was the type of grandfather who was quiet, but had a strong presence. He never said much, but I remember he always sat in his recliner and I would sit on his lap and have short, sweet conversations with him as a child. I would ask about the crosses he wore around his neck and why he loved golfing so much. In the summers my brother, sister, my cousins and I would go stay with my Paw paw and Maw maw. I remember waking up at six o'clock in the morning to my Paw paw making his coffee and breakfast before leaving for his early morning tee time. I would watch him from the pallet on the floor in the den through my sleepy, half open eyes. When he would walk out the door, I would roll over and go back to sleep. I felt comforted by watching him every morning. I think it's because I adored the ground he walked on.
Not only was he an amazing grandfather, but my Paw paw was an extraordinary man. He experienced more in his lifetime than the average person. He witnessed the death of his oldest brother as a young child, endured the insufferable circumstances brought on by the Great Depression, and fought in World War II. I'll never forget the story about his oldest brother drowning. My great grandparents actually brought my great uncle inside their home and laid his body on their dinner table until he was taken away to be prepared for burial. That night, my Paw paw and his parents and siblings ate dinner at that very same table. Regarding the Great Depression, he would tell the story of how he wore the same outfit every single day, and every single day he would wash that outfit so that he could wear it clean the next day. He always told us that he would never eat potato soup or bread pudding again. Apparently, during the Depression, those were cheap and easy meals, and my Paw paw could not understand why anyone would actually pay to eat those foods at a restaurant. While serving the Navy during World War II, he saw horrific things that he didn't like to talk about. The only time I ever heard about his World War II experiences from him was after he saw Saving Private Ryan in the theater. It was the first and only time I had ever witnessed my Paw paw cry. He endured so much in his life time, but you would never know it. He was so stoic. I truly believe men were made differently back then.
Before my Paw paw died, he told me that he wanted to see Nick and I have a child because he "didn't have much longer, ya' know." I so wish I could have given him that gift. I wish my children could have been held by one of the greatest men to ever walk this earth. However, life doesn't always work out the way you plan or the way you want it to. Infertility has made me realize this life lesson more than anything else I've experienced because it could be another four or more years before I have the children I spent my whole life "planning" to have at the age of twenty five (remember, I am now twenty nine). The only thing that puts me at ease is that at least I know there is another angel in heaven looking over me and my future children. He will be able to see their birth and all their experiences and milestones in his very own recliner up in heaven. He actually has the best seat in the house.
My Paw paw passed away about a week after our last family reunion. He said in the weeks leading up to the reunion that he wanted to see everyone one last time. It amazes me that as soon as this wish was granted, he was able to let go. I miss him dearly, but I also know that people can't live forever. Paw paw lived a fulfilled life that was full of family and lots of love. I try to not be sad about his death. Instead, I celebrate his life and am proud of the positive impact he made on so many others.
"A grandfather is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher and a little bit best friend." ~ Author unknown
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