Kayla is my first niece, the oldest of all my parents grandchildren and she is my brother's daughter. I didn't know that I could love a person so instantaneously until I held Kayla for the first time. She was a beautiful seven pound, blonde haired baby and I was hooked. My Dad told me that when his first niece was born, he was sure that he couldn't possibly feel a stronger kind of automatic love, until he had his own child. I know exactly how he feels to an extent. I don't have a child of my own, but the love and adoration that I felt for Kayla was through the roof. I wanted to be around her every second and I ate her up. I now have five more nieces and two nephews, and hopefully more to come. I don't love Kayla more than any of them, but the bond I have with Kayla is special. Let me explain why today's blog is dedicated entirely to her.
I know that most aunts love their nieces or nephews an enormous amount, but I'm not quite sure that any other niece or nephew has loved their aunt like Kayla loved me. My family calls it obsessed, I call it a "unique bond". It all started when she was about six months old. My brother had left Kayla with my cousin so that he could go to the gym. I called my cousin and heard Kayla crying on the other end, so I drove to my cousin's as quick as I could. I walked in, took Kayla in my arms and to my cousin's surprise, she immediately stopped crying and stared at me in wonder. From that point on, she would never keep her eyes off me when I was in her presence. When I would babysit her, she would start squealing when she would see me walk up the driveway. When I would walk in the house, I would pick her up and she would just stare at me and smile. I could make her laugh like no one else and when she would get hurt or get sick, she would ask for me. She preferred me over everyone, much to her mother and her mother's family's dismay. (My brother on the other hand, ate it up that his child loved one of his family members more than all of his ex-wife's.) When I was around, no one else was to hold her or rock her to sleep. When she turned two, we started developing our own inside jokes. One time when Kayla's mom asked her who her best friend was, she expected Kayla to answer with the name of the little girl down the street that Kayla played with several days of the week. Instead, Kayla answered, "Ne ne," the name she still calls me to this day. When I retold this story with pride to a family friend, she replied, "Yes, you are definitely her best friend. The thing is, I think she's your best friend too." The thing is, she was right.
Now, my Kayla is ten years old. She doesn't remember her obsession (or "unique bond") with me that much, but we still have a special connection. I love her to pieces and we really enjoy each others' company, plain and simple. She comes and stays with me and I love every moment of it, knowing that her teenage years are quickly coming and probably pretty soon, she may want nothing to do with me.
As I look back, I recognize that I was given a gift through our extraordinary bond. Through Kayla, I learned that nothing compares to a child's unconditional love. I truly believe it's the closest thing I have ever felt to being a mother. So when infertility gets me down, I think of Kayla and I regain the strength to keep on going, because now I'm ready to feel the real thing.
"Nieces are the children that we borrow, intending not to raise but merely love." ~Unknown
Me with Kayla when she was just 2 years old.
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